Several times have I observed these debates in my head; debates between two logically meaningful positions that apparently contradict with each other. Each point of view makes sense by itself, but together do not. I can do role-play, argue for each side, and go back and forth between them. As the debate progresses, a light thread of connection emerges, slowly growing into a handshake between the two sides.
Still wondering what I am talking about? Here is a recent one!
The conversation goes like this: “We should be true to our inner self. Our outer life should be an expression of our inner self. In other words, we should be the same within and outside.”
Yes, that makes absolute sense! We should be honest, and should not put on faces and behaviors that don’t go well with how we feel inside. Our interactions with others should be genuine and can’t be the behaviors imposed by social and cultural norms.
Wait a minute… then what about consciously changing ourselves to become a better person with an improved attitude, character and behavior? How do we do it without consciously behaving in a different way, in a better way, than what is really within? It is imperative that we conduct ourselves for the goodness of the world and of humanity, even if that’s not exactly what we are inside. See, this contradicts with what we started with.
Do you see the two convincing ideas contradicting with each other? On one side is the question of “being” truthful to myself. Let’s call it the “being” side. On the other side is the question of consciously influencing the change to become what I ought to become. That’s about “doing” what’s necessary to become something better. Let’s call in the side of “doing”.
Both sides make sense. Each has its purpose; the purpose of evolving into a better person inside and outside, the purpose of personal development and growth. This purpose is the common factor between the two, the meeting point, the connecting link, the handshake.
Ok, now what! There maybe a connecting link, but how do we handle situations in our daily lives, where we face up to the choice of being or doing. When we meet with, converse with, interact with, and work with so many people and situations everyday, how do we know what holds the best, whether being or doing? Let’s explore this a bit more…
Living true to ourselves is a compelling idea. That, however, does not give us the freedom to express whatever we are inside. We need to pause and compose before acting, so we can handle people and situations rightly; everybody knows this. During the daily challenges, we consciously have to chose our responses, pushing ourselves towards what we would like ourselves to become. This choice is driven by the purpose of growing into a better human being – the connecting link that we were talking about. This sense of purpose makes our choice genuine. The conscious effort to act differently than what gushes out, is very true to our heart, like in the example I once heard, of a child pretending to offer tea to its mother, so genuinely from its heart, that when the mother denies, the child is at the verge of crying. Such genuine and “heartful” expressions – doing – come out of an earnest desire to become the being that we are not; not yet.
So, that was about transforming our doing to get closer to the being. The other way around is to expand our being to make it so grandiose and refined that it altogether takes over the doing. Then the doing is automatically perfected without needing any effort on our part to perfect it. That’s the way of transformation from within.
How do we do all of these? How do we make genuine efforts to transform our doing? How do we transform from within to expand our being? There maybe several methods, but one that’s worth experimenting with is, meditation.
I did not start meditation with the intention of integrating being and doing; probably rarely does anyone. Nevertheless, in hindsight, I realize it as one of the major benefits of the meditation practice – Heartfulness – that I am fortunately associated with. Heartfulness meditation has helped me pause before reacting, detach myself from situations, and adjust myself in a ‘heartful’ way. While that’s significant in itself, what is more profound is how Heartfulness meditation has refined many traits of my character and ego, and how it has transformed me from within. So it works both ways; affecting the doing and the being. How it brings in this integration of inside and outside has always been a wonder to me; and the wonder keeps growing everyday!
the invertendo 